Blood Cry by K. de Long

Author:K. de Long [de Long, K.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Katie de Long

4

Warric

I turned Sunny's words over and over in my gut, along with my own shame. For a little, I'd actually hoped the unattainable was in reach, but she'd made her view perfectly clear. She didn't have to say it, but it was all over her face. I was a rabid animal, and I'd proved myself dangerous.

All for barely a mouthful of blood, all told.

Oh, it had tasted divine, ripe with life, not musty and distant like the power embedded in the immunoglobulin she shared, but that taste wasn't worth its cost. It had cost me the only thing I truly wanted: the chance to love her. I'd tasted her memories—her dreams, her fears, her love of life, even a wave of fondness for several of the good times we'd shared together… And in the process, I'd lost the woman forever.

I wasn't gonna beg. I wasn't gonna promise it wouldn't happen again when we didn't know whether that was true. She nicked herself while shaving sometimes or cut herself in the kitchen. I needed to be trustworthy in case of household accidents, not forcing her to handle medical emergencies with one eye over her shoulder.

She was one hundred percent right, and I hated it.

“You should still come by for the infusions—if they help you keep control. You can still choose what kind of person you want to be. You can still choose not to hurt others—”

Her voice sounded flat. Fake. And she wasn't asking me to stay. That hurt most of all.

“Yeah. Sure. I will. I promise.”

We weren't sure either of us believed it. She had that foot tap that she adopted when she was annoyed and sussing out a fib. And I wasn't gonna stick around for her to call me on it. “It's probably for the better, Soleil. I love you, but I want you to be happy, too. I don't think I can make you happy. And the chance you gave me was to find myself. I need to do that. I think I'm going to look up some of my brothers' descendants. See whether they can fill in any of the gaps.”

“War, please. I didn't mean it like that—” Her face was a mask of grief, misery, distress, and dismay all mixed with that dazed drowsiness from the meds.

“I got exactly how you meant it. We were never supposed to be all that anyway. So it's fine. Just a return to plan. I'll miss you.”

“I mean it. Come by for the infusions. Please.” She shook her head. The motion nearly made her fall from vertigo. She grabbed the wall for support. “Goddamnit, I'm stumbling over my own tongue right now. I really don't want to do this while I'm so fucking loopy I can't string two words together without fumbling them. Please, can we talk this out soon? Don't let this be goodbye, War—”

She reached for me but missed. Her depth perception was fucked. Not that mine was all that much better.

I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted her, but since I couldn't have her, I didn't want to watch from the sidelines.

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